A Cycle

I wonder about having another lover.
I feel this pressure that being present in a poly community means that I too must be poly.
And of course, this means having multiple lovers.
So I feel the need to search for someone else.
The searching gives me the feeling of being incomplete.
I feel somehow less than I should be.

Then I remember the most important thing I've learned this year:
I am responsible for my emotions.
How empowering!
The pressure to be a certain way comes from within me.

I feel complete again.
Changing. Evolving. Living.

But, how many times must I remind myself?
Why haven't I learned yet?
Or have I?

I wonder about having another lover.